I should not be doing photography or talking about photography. This whole journey led by certain accidental inctances which happened that made me pursue it vehemently. (Two reasons I have already discussed in ‘My photography Journey’ which is science and me watching a news documentary.)
Whenever I hear modern day photographers talk about their background or how they started with photography, generaly, I hear that they had an influence from the family or somebody gave them a camera. This is not to say it is true for every photographer but generally there are influences during childhood that generated their curiosity to explore photography.
There are mainly three reasons I call myself an accidental photographer. One of them is there has never been anyone in the family doing anything else but to join the business. When my dad passed away last year, I got to know about my heritge since 1780s. And, let me tell you, not one person had anything do with arts. They were all businessmen taking over the family business generation to generation. And, there is a myth or stereotype if you could say regarding photography is that it is. It is just a press of a button. So, it is merely taken as a hobby. Something you need to grow out of. Get a real job or join the family business I heard a lot. There has never been an environment around me which encouraged any free thinking.
Everyone knows who has been in this field that it is an expensive thing to do. From cameras to printing and other required accessories. And, this is where the second reason comes in, as a child we were not well off to buy a camera. As already mentioned that there was no one who did photography so nobody could pass it on to me either. And, there was no motivation to buy a camera. I have a faint memory of my father having a digicam and using it for a few hours. After that I never saw it again. In a stable family you try to capture your happy moments. Since there was nothing blissful happening, there was nothing to capture. Between family in fighting and people dying, there was no roam for glee.
And, the first reason led to this final reason, there was no support. A street dog would have given me a better support than the people I was surrounded by. When I did actually realiased that I wanted to be a photographer, I was all alone. People kept pushing me towards joining the business. Becoming a photographer was taken as a disrespect to the “tradition” of boys joining the family business. Even when I full fledgedly became a photographer, it is not taken as seriously. I will never be respected for this decision or understood. I had faught and clawed to be here. The only supporter I have had, even after his death, is my father. He was not happy with this decision initially like everyone else but when he understood my work he gave me his full support. But no one else ever did. When he passed, I knew I have lost my only supporter. I came so close to giving up under all the pressure of the family when he passed, that the series on my dad would have been my last series. Rather than greiving for my father’s death, I was fighting with people with my same last name for me to keep photographying.
I beleive, people, who you would call as family, will never realise that photography is never a job for me but it is my way of living. That’s how I talk. This is how I communicate. That’s how I find peace and calm. It brings joy to my life. It has saved my life. It is fun, challenging, fullfilling, diffcult, peaceful, frustrating, intimate and so much more. That’s what photography means to me.
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